Friday, September 23, 2022
Dad , i am not okay here without you. You left me with no family, and not even one picture. I got so.e drawings of yours, but after being robbed so many times sincr your death i have nothing now. You know you left me too soon more than once before you died. You left me too soon at 15. You are somewhere watching how broken i am since your departure. I remember every talk we ever had and i think the creatures by the foot of your hospital bed were your daughters, trying to scare you into caring about something, or worry about what kind of danger your death might put on me. Your boy.
You broke my fucking heart, and you never stood up for me when i needed you to. I am still mad at you for leaving me alone in this world, completely unprepared and not even given a good loving start. My life has been a hell that you could have prevented. I cant process your death and none of our "family," knows or even asks me if im ok. So im telling you, someone i know better than to expect any help from. Thanks for never letting me think you had my back, or that you would be here for me. You did prepare me for one thing. How to go through abandonment. People are setting me up dad, for leaving brad, punishing me and trying to jail me for someone elses wrongs. I cant help but wonder if you called me your boy so the underworld you chose to die for could treat me like they do, like i have to be responsible for your fuck ups.
